I argue with myself daily. Every fiber of my being, including my regularly-aching foot, wants to go for a run. But last night, my foot was hurting me so badly I couldn’t sleep, so I’ve deduced that running would be maybe one of the worst ideas I’ve had in quite some time. It’s incredibly frustrating.
Furthermore, I’m stressed about my work/dissertation research, as I sometimes feel like I’m way over my head.
I also have this sense of dread, knowing that I have to start looking for a job in the near future and I literally cannot find a single job online that I would consider at least an 75%+ fit for me. Granted, my skills are very esoteric and I’m at the leading edge of a field (using satellite remote sensing in vector-borne disease surveillance systems) that is within another brand new field (public health remote sensing), so it’s not like I’m expecting there to be job announcements all over the internet… It’s going to be a network thing I know. Also frustrating and a little bit scary.
So pretty much to sum up the last 96 hours, I present you with another reference to the best show currently on television, How I Met Your Mother:
Robin: Have you ever had one of those days where nothing all that monumental happens, but by the end of it you have no idea who you are or what the hell you are doing with your life? Do you ever have one of those days?
Ted: Uhh, about once a week.
So that was my mindset this morning. And then this came in the mail:
I wanted to wear this for my April 16th half marathon. One, because it’s awesome and two, because it’s a Brooks racing shirt. (Brooks makes amazingly comfy running gear). I think it’s mean of fate to deliver this to me when I’m in this spectacularly crappy mood.
Fortunately, the MCM isn’t until October 30, so theoretically I have a lot of time to heal and re-train my muscles and lungs.
Unfortunately (for my foot, at least) I’m leaving for Puerto Maldonado, Peru in early May to do 6 weeks of field work for my dissertation. This will involve walking/motor-biking around the Amazon basin with a GPS unit and taking around 400 point measurements of what ground conditions are in various areas (this is forest, that’s agricultural land that is currently fallow, that’s scrub, etc). So I’m going to be doing a lot of standing on my foot and I’m hoping that it’s healed enough to handle that by the time I have to leave.
Anyway. That’s my particularly irritating situation lately. And I’m jealous of all you guys out there who have the ability to run today but aren’t running!